After I was sent back from Zarkon, I was forced to take a leave of absence by the owners of the New Nooz, and I was involuntarily confined to a mental rehabilitation facility in Mt. Sydney. This was quite a comedown for me after all the exotic places I've been to doing my Reports, but I tried to make the best of it. The matron there didn't like me, and I frequently lost my dessert priviledges. When I was released, the Nooz thought a nice trip "down under" would be just the ticket, and since I had had a good visit to Chudleigh-Lilydale once before, I decided to find out what they had been up to lately, so I booked passage on a Russian tramp steamer to Melbourne. From there I chartered a fishing trawl to Egg Lagoon on King Island in the Bass Strait. That wasn't too bad except that I had to sleep on top of a large tub of conger eels. It was a mercifully short voyage by dinghy across to Cape Grim (my arms are still aching), where I was able to hire Willie Wangaratta of Tasman Taxis to drive me to the Observatory, where I finally arrived after a harrowing two-month journey across the Great Eddystone Desert which blazes across the central part of Tasmania like a... well, how can I put it, like a desert.
    When I pulled up at the tall twin gates in Mole Creek on Wednesday, I must have triggered some kind of a silent alarm or something, because Dr. Mawbanna Waddamana and Dr. Basil Smith came racing out from opposite sides of the Administration building carrying great steaming mugs of black Tasmanian tea, each insisting that his was better and that I should drink his first. They fought over my luggage and almost came to blows over who should pay Willie, while I strolled around studying the King William pines, Tasmanian blue gums and tall leatherwood trees that had been planted around the Observatory. Orange-bellied parrots and black currawongs swooped overhead, while echidnas and golden possums scuttled through the dense vegetation. I was eager to tour the facility, but the two eminent scientists grabbed me and towed me to the guest house, where fortunately there was only a single room. I hadn't realized that I was as tired as I was, and after a quick snack of boiled bread and leatherwood honey, I fell asleep and slept until Friday.
    I woke up feeling marvelously refreshed and made my way up to the dining room for a hearty Tasmanian welcome breakfast of pickled octopus with pepperberry chutney, swedes and broad beans, blackcurrent juice and lemon fudge for dessert, along with multiple cups of the traditional black Tasmanian tea. This two-hour feast made me really sleepy so I went back to my room and dozed until Saturday when I was awakened by the sound of Drs. Waddamana and Smith arguing outside my door. The twin 36" telescopes were scheduled to be shut down for maintenance and the two proud astronomers wanted me to see some Tasmanian devils, and perhaps even the giant space primate heading toward the Earth. Each taking me by an arm and gripping me tightly, they tugged me up the four hundred and seventeen steps to the telescope control room, where I flipped a coin to see which telescope I would look through first. It turned out to be Dr. Smith's, and his was focused on a rocky hillside nearby that was covered with red-blossomed waratah bushes and fern trees. He claimed to be able to see several scruffy Tasmanian devils lounging in the brush, but try as I might I could not make them out.
    Turning to Dr. Waddamana's telescope, which he was pointing out into deep space, I carefully adjusted the eyepiece until I could see a faint smudge that looked like a spot of dirt on the lens. Dr. Waddamanna was jumping up and down agitatedly and exclaiming that this was indeed the giant space primate that I was looking at and he was sure I could tell that it was still heading toward the Earth. Just as I was getting it in better focus, a siren sounded, the telescope went offline, and Dr. Waddamana announced that we had to leave immediately. Each taking me by an arm and again gripping me tightly, the two erudite researchers hurried me down the steps and out of the building. Behind me I heard an alarming buzzing noise, but they assured me that it was OK.
    The excitement of the morning had made me drowsy, so I slept until dinnertime and then ate a delicious meal of wombat sausages and lake oysters, forest potatoes, greenapple cheese and white pudding, and several large tankards of Hobart brown ale, after which I returned to my room to work on my Report. I guess it was that large meal because I immediately fell asleep and didn't wake up until Monday morning, when Willie appeared at my door and said that he had to get back to Cape Grim, so even though my Report was not finished (or even started) it was time to go. Drs. Waddamana and Smith met me at the gate and wished me a safe journey home, and I promised to send them a copy of my Report. Next time I'm going to try to get to Rafikistan where I want to visit Abominable Primates National Park and the Abominable Primate Study Center of Dr. Uzman Shakhrisyabz. Or I might go somewhere else completely. So until then, I'll just say "So long."