Vol. 105, No. 1
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Hellmouth, Arizona
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Sep. 10, 2005
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ABOMINABLE
PRIMATE SEEN IN HIMALAYAN LOWLANDS! |
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NOSTRADAMUS'
PREDICTIONS
COME TRUE IN CHEESEQUAKE! |
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(SWNS) Cheesequake,
AZ. The prophetic words of the famed Michel de Nostradame penned
so many months ago came true in Cheesequake last spring. Nostradamus stated
in 1556 that "A mighty trembling in the month of Mars/the year of
twice thousand five/the land midst cold and heat will melt/the isle of curds and
milk will be split aside/the fields when watered will start to shrink/as
the prime mates succumb in their tomb of frost." It was on
Tuesday that the muddy Horntoad River Valley was shaken awake on a cold
and dry morning by the subterranean rumblings of the South Yuma Creek
Fault, and this was clearly what Nostradamus meant by a "mighty trembling"
that would occur in March, 2005, in a country between Canada and Mexico.
The "isle of curds and milk" was almost certainly a reference to tiny Cheesequake Island in the middle of the Horntoad River which on that disastrous day was rent into two parts by the force of the tectonic movement. The river overflowed its banks and partially submerged three gorogo bean plantations owned by Chesley Switzer and his sons, who moved to Cheesequake years ago from Manitoba. Can anyone doubt that Nostradamus' words "the fields when watered will start to shrink" could only be applied to these events? The last part of his prediction is more difficult to understand, but it is known that several bluetail guenons which had escaped from the Hellmouth Zoo and Exotic Animal Crematorium and were hiding in the County's Municipal Ice House, had apparently locked themselves into a freezer, which the prescient Nostradamus called a "tomb of frost," and perished there. Thus have we once again been privy to the awesome powers of the great seer Nostradamus. |