Page Four

ANNOUNCEMENTS

The New Primate Nooz takes very great pleasure in announcing that it has been selected as the primato-
logy newspaper which will henceforth be distributed in all public school classrooms in Arizona, replacing the East Mojave Desert Monkey Bulletin.  Primatology is being added to the Arizona public school curriculum as a basic subject with three units required for gradua-
tion, beginning next fall.  The Arizona Secretary of Education will be meeting with Mr. Kashihara Takeshi-
tahara, owner of the New Primate Nooz, in Phoenix next week to work out the details.

RECOMMENDED READING:

Hi!  I'm Potty!!  I'd like all our loyal subscribers to read at least three of the followng choices I have carefully selected for your special pleasure and the improve-
ment of your minds. Which could use it, I must say. Let me know how you like them. Ciao....

Watah Al-Qahirah (1972).  “The Sudanese Blacknose Gelada and What to To About It.”  Desert Journal of Egypt and the Sudan, 134:42-51.  *****

Fyodor Butynski (1995).  “Results of Ubsk-Karchinsky Bluetail Artificial Burrow Project at the Ubsk Primate Recovery Centre.” Notes from 2nd Int. Conf. on Artificial Primate Burrows, Vol. 2, Section 4, pp. 29-78.  *****

Uzman Shakhrisyabz (1986).  “My First Encounter with an Abominable Primate.” Bombay Monkey Club Notes, 153(2):55-77.  *****

Alfred Townsend Winchester Crofford-Wiggles (1899). The Abominable Primates of the Hindu Kush.  Gravesend and Ipswich Book Publishers, Birmingham.  *****

Marennes Pauillac Soustons (1997).  “Comment j'ai découvert que les singes africains sauvages de forêt tous ne descendent pas à la même cadence et épuisé tout mon congé de maladie.” Examen de la Fédéra-
tion Descendante de Primat de Sub-Sahara, 19:49-61.  *****

Christopher Shaw (2001).  "Recognizing That Not Everyone Speaks English Can Be A Tricky Business." Reader's Digest,  941:52-57.  **

 
MISCELLANEOUS FOREIGN JIBBERISH
 The New Primate Nooz is pleased to offer, free of  charge, the following foreign phrases which might  be useful to its readers, if they should ever be  unlucky enough to find themselves travelling in  some of the more blighted areas of the world.


Seolfaidh an cnaipe a bhfuil "Tá an t-ádh orm inniu" air díreach ar aghaidh thú chuig an chéad leath-
anach gréasáin a fuarthas mar fhreagra ar do cheist, déantar cuardach níos tapa má roghnaítear "Tá an t-ádh orm inniu," rude thugann breis ama duit chun naleathanaigh.

Knappen "Jeg prøver lykkenTM" tar deg auto-
matisk til den første nettsiden som kommer opp i respons til forespørselen din, et søk med "Jeg prøver lykken" betyr mindre tid på å søke etter nettsider, og mer tid på å lese dem.

Der hohe mann mit den blauen augen kauft eine lokale zeitung, schreitet dann schnell über der Straße zu einem gemüsehändler, in dem er zwei zitronen und eine pampelmuse kauft, stoppt dann, um zu denken.

O: trab sfg da iistkieo :m PTXX ":X exat>,.\\nte seis horas e:( não.,>.

Vil du prøve lykken? Legg inn et søk et inn og gjør et forsøk!

Je voudrais savoir où la banque est, parce que je dois obtenir une certaine somme d'argent pour louer une voiture et pour rendre visite à ma soeur, qui habite à Cannes.

Ho un data con un esperto in elaborazione elet-
tronica grazioso. Prego mi direte dove posso comprare una piccola anguria?

 
The
Primate
Nooz©
 
 Produced as a public service by those clever folks  down at the Kashihara Takeshitahara Corp., with  additional funding generously provided by  Katsu's Karaoke Klub, the Marco Polo League of  Hong Kong and Japan, Fujihatsu Conglomerate  Asia, the Imperial Monkey Zoo, Joe's Not So Bad  Cafe, the Vertical Clinging and Leaping Society of  Miyazaki Prefecture, and Travel and Primatology  Magazine.
© M. Charters, 2002, Sierra Madre, CA.
 
HELLMOUTH TRAVEL/STUDY PROGRAM
     Under the auspices of Sigsbee Junior Night College, the New Primate Nooz is offering a three-
month travel study program. Our students will have an opportunity to go to Gabon, Jujube, Bali-Bali, Mada-
gascar, Rafikistan, Gorgonzola, Cheesequake and possibly to the planet Zarkon. Tour Guide/Instructors may include Mr. Mitsuo Ohhohoho, Bill Measely, Sir Ian Spotswood Allenby Crofford-Wiggles, Dr. Mied-
zyrzecz von Chechowice-Dziedzice, Senhor Teófilo Afonso Rosario Sobradinho and the Right Reverand Archbishop Franklin Sitzmyrtle, but that hasn't been determined yet, so don't say that we promised.
      All interested parties should inquire at the main office of Sigsbee Junior Night College at 212 St. Louis Street, Hellmouth, between the hours of 8pm and 8am. There will be an informational meeting Jan.22 at a time to be announced. The first session of the program will begin in June.