Page Three
  In this issue, we are proud as punch to introduce “The Nooz Phone, ” which will feature telephone interviews with some very interesting people in the primate world. If any of our readers know of an interesting person, please let us know at 1-800-223-6743.  
 
READER'S POLL
  
Readers of Primate Nooz, whether they are regular, occasional or infrequent, are kindly requested to respond to the poll below and mail it to:  Primate Nooz Poll Department, c/o Hubbleheimer's 5 and Dime, Hellmouth, AZ.  We will announce the results in the next issue.
 

 
     I really love the new format!  It has so
  many great features and just plain more of that
  good old  Nooz.

    Yes, I like the new format.  I was getting
  tired of the same old features. I especially like
  “The  Nooz” Phone.

    I'm not sure how I feel about the new
  format.  I'd like to see another issue, but I think
  you ought  to drop “Announcements and
  Rumors.”

    No, I don't like the new format, but “The
  Nooz Phone” isn't too bad.

    I really hate the new format and if it isn't
  discontinued immediately, I will cancel my
  subscription.


For accounting purposes, we request the following information:

Name__________________________________

Address________________________________

City__________________State____ZIP_______

Tel. #_________________IRS Tax ID #_______

SSN #________________ DL # _____________

Places of employment for last 16 years ________

Mother's maiden name__________Birthday_____

Bank account #_________Bank name__________
 
COLD SNAP HITS BORNEO
  
(APE)  Banjarmasin, Kalimantan.  High winds
resulting from Friday's Typhoon Mary swayed
trees and caused temperatures to plunge several
degrees on the mysteriously-shaped SE Asian
island of Borneo.  Primates and other animals
shivered in the unexpectedly cold weather.  The
humidity was uncharacteristically low as well with
a reading of only 88%.  This was the first typhoon
that Borneo has experienced since last week.
 

NOOZ:  “Hello.”
Caller:  “Hello?”
NOOZ:  “Yes, hello, who's calling please?”
Caller:  “HELLO?”
NOOZ:  “What's your name please?”
Caller:  “HELLO?”
NOOZ:  “Yes, who is this?”
Caller:  “Is this the Nooz Phone?”
NOOZ:  “Yes, who's calling?”
Caller:  “Uh, Chris.”
NOOZ:  “Yes, Chris, what's your question today?”
Caller:  “Well, I....”
NOOZ:  “Could you speak up?”
Caller:  “I....”
NOOZ:  “What's that?”
Caller:  “I....”
NOOZ:  “Have you got something to say, Chris?”
Caller:  “Yes, I....”
NOOZ:  “Well, what is it?”
Caller:  “I....
NOOZ:  What?”
Caller:  “I....”
NOOZ:  “Chris, we're going to have to cut you off if
you don't say something.”
Caller:  “I....”
NOOZ:  “Turn your radio off.”
   (PAUSE)
NOOZ:  “What's your last name, Chris?”
Caller:  “Shaw.”
NOOZ:  “Where do you live?”
Caller:  “High in the Hollywood Hills.”
NOOZ:  “Are you married? Kids?”
Caller:  “Yes to both.”
NOOZ:  “OK, Chris, now for the big one.  Here goes.
What did you call about?”
Caller:  “I....”
   (PAUSE)
NOOZ:  “Where do you work, Chris?”
Caller:  “At the Page Museum. In the paleontology
lab.”
NOOZ:  “Chris, you must be a smart person.  Is there
some reason why you can't say why you called?”
Caller:  “Yes, I.....”
NOOZ:  “What's that?”
Caller:  “I....”
NOOZ:  “CHRIS, DID YOU HAVE A SPECIFIC
REASON FOR CALLING?”
Caller:  “Yes, I....”
NOOZ:  “Oh this is ridiculous.  Are you going to say
anything?”
Caller:  “Yes, I....”
NOOZ:  “We're losing our patience, Chris.”
Caller:  “I....”
NOOZ:  “This is your last chance, Chris.  Do you have
anything to say?”
Caller:  “I....”
NOOZ:  “Bye, Chris.
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