PRETTY DARN GOOD!”
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Page Two
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“WE
ARE FEELING PRETTY DARN GOOD!” |
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again, and in a surprisingly short time, we here at the Nooz have
settled into a pleasant routine. We arrive at the office in the new Nooz Towers at 8am, fortified with a good breakfast and several cups of strong coffee from Joe's Not So Bad Cafe, and carrying the latest edition of the Hellmouth Star Ledger and Daily Chronicle under our arms. As we pass the water cooler and the paper clip bin, we usually say good morning to Myra Spitztingle and Henrietta Farthing- wurtz, two of our most dedicated secretaries. We might glance into the brightly-lighted office of Eric Scotmeister Fleiglehaus, and if he's not away doing a "Report from the Field," we might share a joke with him. We will probably wave across the main room to where Dr. Dick Doody is sitting, chewing a pencil and thinking about his next "Cutting Corner" feature. In the back- ground, and not completely obscured by the sounds of clicking keyboards, we can hear the hiss and pop of the hydrogen laser spotlight as Bill Measely ceaselessly tinkers with it, trying to get it to not swing around without warning and burn people severely. There are often one or more guest primatologists on the premises, perhaps working on a special "What is...?" column, and if that is the case, it would be natural for us to introduce ourselves and say hello. Finally we reach our office on the fourth floor. We spend a few moments tidying up our desks, repositioning photographs of our wives and children, blowing dust off our letter openers, and generally getting ready to face the day. There is usually a memo from publisher Arnett Putney, III and executive editor Widen Lundale, Jr. regarding our assignments for the day. Sometimes, there are telephone messages that require us to return calls. At ten, the whole editorial staff assembles for a meeting in which we attempt to decide the subject matter for our next exciting editorial. Although most of us at the Nooz are fond of each other, this get-together is frequently rancorous, and sometimes concludes with name-calling and fisticuffs. We are just like a family here, and like any family we occasionally feel like murdering each other. There's a bunch of other stuff that goes on in a typical day, but we don't want to bore you with that. Suffice it to say that we feel pretty darn good about how things are going here at the Nooz now. We expect that we'll be around for hundreds of months to come, reporting on fruit shortages, plummeting injuries, award presentations, primate breeding programs, building collapses, mad monkey disease outbreaks, and thrilling new finds. So when you do send in your renewal card, be sure to check the subscription time period box that says "10 years," and you won't be sorry. Do it today, or tomorrow. |
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