Page Four

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Primate Nooz is deeply saddened to announce the apparent death by volcanic suffocation, burns and being hit on the head by lava bombs of Dr. Oondóué M. Boué, a longtime supporter and Advisory Board member of the Nooz and frequent correspondent of publisher Arnett Putney, III and executive editor Widen Lundale, Jr., who feel that if they have not lost a brother, they have lost something like a third cousin twice removed on their grandmother's side. Dr. Boué was an authority on the burrowing behavior of wild bluetail guenons (Cercopithecus subterraneus) and some of his final remarks to the outside world can be read elsewhere in these pages. Because of this terrible tragedy, we are going to suspend any further announcements at least until the next issue.

RECOMMENDED READING BY DR. THRACE THRASHER, M.D.:

Dr. Oscar Simon Bolivar Bolivar-Fuentes de la Hoya (1993).  “Purple Wannabies and Sinking Islands.” Natural Biographic,  12(6):39-55.  *****

Dr. Oscar Simon Bolivar Bolivar-Fuentes de la Hoya (1989).  “Paleozoography of Santa Rubia Island and Other Bodies of Land in the Santa Rubia Straits.” Central American Journal of Subsidence, 40:102-122. *****

Merlin P. Musselwhyte (1993).  “What Really Went On at the Cheesequake Municipal Man and Mammal Museum.”  Cheesequake Municipal Man and Mammal Museum Notes, April, pp. 45-50.  *****

Eric Scotmeister Fleiglehaus (1993).  “My Trek Across Santa Rubia Island.” Travel and Primatology, Summer, pp. 18-24.  *****

Dr. Oondóué M. Boué (1978).  “Water retention characteristics of Gabonese montane forest soils.”  J. West African Trop. Soc., 56:22-39.  *****

Christopher Shaw (1993).  “Sinking Islands Are Really Wierd!”  Reader's Digest, 933:39-43.  *
 
 

Dear Chris,
      I've always wanted to write a really scientific letter.  I grew up wanting to write a really scientific letter.  I even stayed after school to read about how to write really scientific letters.  I mean, I dreamed about writing a really scientific letter.  Well, everyone did, I suppose, but with me it was somehow different. When I saw your feature in the Nooz, I thought to myself, here's my chance to write a really scientific letter.  So here it is.  How do you like it?
Mildred Pennymoney
Brightenhamshire, UK

Dear Mildred,
      Taxonomically speaking, the marmosets and tamarins together make up the family Callitrichidae. The marmosets include the genera Callithrix, Cebuella and Titanicus, while the tamarins include Saguinus, Leontopithecus, Malitia and Obscurus. Thanks for your question.

Dear Chris,
      I'm glad to have this opportunity to write to you. You may find it strange but I've never written a letter to the Nooz before.  In fact, I've never written a letter to any newspaper, or any other publication before.  So this is a really big deal for me. Of course, I know how it's done, I'm not stupid.  I've just never done it before myself.  I may be your boss and all and the top administrator of the Nooz, but I studied some science in the 3rd grade.  My question is: why is the sky blue?
Arnett Putney, III, Publisher

Dear Mr. Putney,
      Thanks for your really scientific letter.
 
The
Primate
Nooz©
 
 
Produced as a public service by the wise folks down at the Ralph A. Bennett Teasdale Corporation, with additional funding provided by Georgia Pacific Gabon, the Purple Wannaby Foundation, the Santa Rubia Island Rescue League, Travel and Primatology Magazine, the Gorogo Bean Boosters Club of Runnamuck, Arizona Oil (the Ecology People), and Joe's Not So Bad Cafe.
  
© M. Charters, 1993, Sierra Madre, CA.
 
      the
         Weather Eye
. ...........................................  
 
Temp.
Humid.
  
Makokou, Gabon
Chudleigh-Lilydale, Tasmania
Ballybunion, Ireland
North of Nepal, Asia
Ubsk, former USSR
Santa Rubia Island, Gorgonzola
Kualakurun, Borneo
Nosy-Varinda, Madagascar
1000°
???
62°
49°
36°
???
91°
89°
99%
???
78%
12%
7%
???
95%
90%
  

FORECAST............................................................

Makokou.  Hot, approximately 1000°, down to 500° by next week.
Chudleigh-Lilydale.  Still a bit hazy from the impact of that large meteor.  Weather conditions unsettled.
Ballybunion.  Rain through the rest of the year.
North of Nepal.  Snowy, with prospects of remaining snowy.
Ubsk. Fragmented weather patterns prevail with some scattered showers of unpredictable magnitude.
Santa Rubia Island.  Wet.  Underwater for the foreseeable future.
Kualakurun.  Wet.  Above water for the foreseeable future.
Nosy-Varinda.  Ecologically ravaged and ruined, mostly clear, chance of flooding.

Page One
 Page Two Page Three  Home Page Next Issue