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Vol. 90, No. 5
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Hellmouth, Arizona
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Sep. 10, 1990
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DESERT
GALAGOS GO ON RAMPAGE IN JUJUBE! |
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Newspapers
were abruptly cancelled and small children advised to stay home from school
yesterday as sad-eyed scientists and frustrated bureaucrats struggled to
cope with the most recent outbreak of 'mad monkey' disease, a debilitating
illness that has plagued primates for many years and that now has struck
the eastern desert galagos of Jujube, causing them to act irrationally,
get into trouble more often, and generally disrupt the plans of others.
Puzzled primatologists and biomedical soothsayers from near and far swarmed
around the epicenter of the outbreak almost as noisily as bees, as they
tried mightily but largely in vain to describe the event and explain to
those of us less technically sophisticated just what had happened. The normally crowded streets of the provincial town of Mt. Darwin emptied within hours of the announcement from the Ministry of Disease. Stores were boarded up and water deliveries suspended. The wind dropped to a whisper and the sky seemed to go just a bit yellowish, although that was probably only one person's over-heated imagination. Radios were turned down just to be on the safe side, and people had to lean closer to listen to the latest bulletins. Beyond the affected area, only a graduate student or two could sometimes be seen hurrying along from one building to the next. Even indoors, the paralyzed populace could hear the dreadful sound of rampaging galagos, and those who weren't sleeping could only hope that their barricaded doors and windows would prove sufficient to protect them. When outbreaks of this sort have occurred in the past, they have usually lasted anywhere from two to four years, although sometimes only a few weeks, but this one is recognized as being particularly severe. The Mt. Darwin Public Safety Committee has thus far not proposed any means of dealing with the crisis, and most members seemed to share the sentiments of their President, Mr. Uhuru |
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(Cont. on page 2)
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